It's a Girl

I was a little stunned on January 11, 2010 when we found out that the tiny person inside me was female. Then I got a little scared. For some reason, I felt like I could be a mom to a boy (or two, or three). But as a girl myself, I know a thing or two about the struggles, the hormones, the difficulties of growing. And a piece of me suddenly felt terrified at trying to navigate those waters as a guide and a mother to another little female. How could I do that when I feel like I have no answers or solutions, when I still end some days in tears?

I think the answer is simply that I am not the guide - that I get to show my child to the Guide. I have the privilege of telling her my stories that I hope point her to Hope, the Hope of Jesus and the Hope of redemption. Some stories may be silly and light, others may be hard and full of weight. There may be tales that will mirror her own, and there maybe be ones to which she cannot relate. That does not matter, because the point is to tell a story.

Stories undeniably impacted my growth, from toddlerhood to teens, from college independence to marriage obligations. A vast array of fictional stories, family stories, stories of heros and of saints have filled my imagination and heart. I love that thousands, even millions of stories can be written and read and yet they still somehow carry the same truths and meanings.

I do not think my stories will be especially unique, but they will be mine and they will be shared because I think it is good to know the stories of those who love you. Cora Beth, my heart fills up with just the thought of you. It overflows when I try to form words to tell you things. So instead I beam back at your sweet, smiling face. I will try to tell stories here, with the hope that you will read them, and that you will find things. That you will find the depth of my love for you, the significance of your own story, the treasure of your history and roots. But most of all, I pray that you will somehow find another dimension of Grace, of Love, and of the Creator of these gifts.

I love you, my girl.